I haven’t written in some time, I know it’s only been a week or two but I used to write on my blog so much just to keep myself sane. Luckily enough I think that I am able to stay pretty sane without constantly feeling the need to write everything down. I never thought I would reach this point so soon.
I am Nathan now both mentally and legally. My old name hasn’t been said in so long I can barely remember what it sounds like. Feeling content with myself has probably got to be one of the best inward feelings that I have experienced, because when I think about it, my whole life I have been in discontent without fully realising.
Leading my life now is always going to be more complicated than it ever was before, but I’m managing. I know I have it a lot easier than some people who are also in this situation. I am never mis-gendered, I have the funds to be able to change my name and despite having a relatively rocky home life I do have full support. I can’t imagine living in a house that does not accept you or does not help you with your transformation.
It’s time for me to appreciate what I have, to forget about all the trouble that I’ve had to go through to get myself here. Life can be a pretty dark place but I’m out of the shadows now, almost completely and I am grateful for that.
I’m nearing the end of this chapter in my life, really I started a whole new novel when I became Nathan. The next part will be my plunge into independence, living miles away from home and attending one of the top universities in the country. I know I can do it because I want it, and more importantly I need it. This fresh start that I will completely immerse myself into, in just a few short months will be what I’ve been waiting for and I can’t wait to start the beginning of this new journey.