If any of you read my last post, you already know that I took my girlfriend ice-skating, as a surprise. It was a big deal to me, because although I try, I’m not as independent as I would like to be. I don’t do public transport, because I don’t like crowds of people. But I decided, that today was the day, the day to swallow my fear and get over myself, and I did.
Can I first point out, train stations are hard! I mean, I didn’t really have to do anything because my girlfriend knows all about public transport. I just felt this pressure, to be able to know what to do in the situation we were in, and I didn’t know anything, which threw my confidence a little.
I tried my best to put on a brave face, and I think I managed it, we both had a really good time. It’s just hard for me sometimes I guess. I wanted to have fun, and I did have fun, but I just couldn’t help but notice the people staring at me. I like to think I pass quite well as a boy, but people kept staring (I convinced myself they were glaring even though they probably weren’t), maybe it’s because my girlfriend still uses my original name. I don’t care much to why they were staring, I just wish they would find some manners and stop it.
I don’t want to ruin this intended to be positive blog post with negative ramblings, I just wanted to address what I found difficult, so I could try and improve on it.
As soon as we arrived at the shopping center, seeing her gorgeous eyes light up the way they did at all the Christmas lights and pretty decorations, made my heart swell. Seeing her like that, holding onto my arm, made everything worth it.
I just wanted to show her how much she meant to me, how I would take her anywhere even if I was super nervous about it. Ice-skating is not my forte, in anyway shape or form (due to falling over too much as a child). I’m not going to lie to you, I clung on to the side of that ice-rink like a little scared 4 year old child. As far as I was concerned, there was no way in hell I was letting go of that safety bar. Little did I know, that she would be the one holding me up, making sure that I didn’t fall over!
As much as I may have sulked at the time, I was glad that she dragged me out into the middle of that ice-rink and made me nearly crap myself. Skating around that ice-rink with both my best friend and the girl I love, despite my sore feet and fear filled brain, was one of the best experiences of my life. I have a feeling that she’s going to have me jumping out of airplanes soon!
The only regret I have, is being a boring, money saving idiot, and not paying £10 to go on the Ferris wheel (rip off, right?) But I hope we will go again next year, I know we will, and I will go on that ride with her then, even if it costs more money.
Christmas is supposed to be a time for giving, at least that’s what all the films say. That’s why I wanted to forget about all my fears and get over myself, so I could give her the magical Christmas (or running up to Christmas) that she talks about.